i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize