I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Holy shit dude........stairs
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
