You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize