It's Friday. Sex?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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