we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
