she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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