wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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