3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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