I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
