dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
