don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
