It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
