I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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