Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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