I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
