If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
