I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
