Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
