Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
