And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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