hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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