There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize