i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
