We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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