How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
