I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
