i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
No subtext here. People are naked.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
