I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize