I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
