R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize