If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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