i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
