dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
