After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
