we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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