She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
