I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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