He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
