I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
