the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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