I accidentally had phone sex last night
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
