I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
