its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i came on her dog
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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