Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She bit a glass in half.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
