and my herpes radar will keep us safe
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize