Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
