this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I booty called her while she was in labor.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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