Why does Corona taste like a burp?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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