I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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