i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Randomize
