i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize