For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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