how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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