"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
