i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
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