Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
