i barfeds in our rink
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
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