i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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