How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
no you cant smoke seaweed
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
