i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Randomize
