so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
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