no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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