return my video game
there's paper in my vomit.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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