Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
