i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
