i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
