i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize