the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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