its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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