That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
